| 0 | Who Wants To Watch Watchmen? | cover | 1 | pencils: Mark Fredrickson; inks: Mark Fredrickson; colors: Mark Fredrickson | Alfred E. Neuman |
| 2 | Departments | table of contents | 1 | pencils: various; inks: various; letters: typeset | White Spy; Alfred E. Neuman; Cookie Monster; Dr. Meatdanglin' |
| 3 | Random Samplings of Reader Mail | letters page | 3.34 | script: John Ficarra; pencils: Luke Ellison; inks: Luke Ellison; colors: Luke Ellison | Alfred E. Neuman; Chris DeMattia; David Cook; Griffin Golden; Brian Williams; Ralph Nader; Christiane Amanpour; Bob Costas; John Madden; Chris Matthews; Robert F. Kennedy, Jr.; Tiki Barber |
| 8 | - | credits, title page | 0.33 | letters: typeset | |
| 9 | An Important Message From MAD's Director of Business & Development | promo (ad from the publisher) | 1 | script: Jeffrey Lozenge | Jeffrey Lozenge |
| 10 | The Fundalini Pages | comic story | 3 | script: various; pencils: various; inks: various; letters: typeset | Abraham Lincoln; Barack Obama; Cookie Monster; Ron Jeremy; George W. Bush; Hillary Clinton; Bono; Melvin; Jenkins; Joe Bitterman; H. Bitterman |
| 11 | What The Heck Is The Difference? | activity | 1 | pencils: Jack Davis; inks: Jack Davis | Alfred E. Neuman |
| 12 | Botchmen | comic story | 6 | script: Desmond Devlin; pencils: Tom Richmond; inks: Tom Richmond | Ozcargrouchius [Amoral Bleidt]; Nerd-Owl [Daniel]; Silk Speculum; Wackjob; Funnyman [Edward Branflake]; Dr. Meatdanglin' [Jon]; Alan "Smithee" Moore; Spider-Man (cameo); Batman (cameo); Robin (cameo); Hulk (cameo); Plastic Man (cameo) |
| 13 | A MAD Look at Trade Schools | comic story | 3 | script: Sergio Aragonés; pencils: Sergio Aragonés; inks: Sergio Aragonés; colors: Tom Luth | |
| 14 | Digital TV FAQs | comic story | 1 | script: Jeff Kruse | |
| 16 | The Decided Disadvantages of An Online Education | comic story | 2 | script: John Caldwell; pencils: John Caldwell; inks: John Caldwell; letters: John Caldwell | |
| 17 | The Darker Side of The Lighter Side | comic story | 3 | script: Dave Berg; pencils: Dave Berg; inks: Dave Berg | Roger Kaputnik; Dave Berg |
| 18 | From JP CitiChaseWaCapitalMu Bank, Inc. | text article | 1 | script: Dick DeBartolo | |
| 19 | MAD's Unheroic Watchmen Outtakes | comic story | 2 | pencils: ? (photo); inks: ? (photo); colors: ? (photo); letters: typeset | Rorschach [Walter P. Kovacs]; Daniel Dreiberg [Nite Owl]; Adrian Viedt [Ozymandias]; Dr. Manhattan [Jon Osterman]; Laurie Juspeczyk [Silk Spectre] |
| 20 | The Story of Deathbed Donkey...And The Rage of Sorrow | comic story | 2 | script: Brian McConnachie; pencils: Rick Geary; inks: Rick Geary | Deathbed Donkey |
| 21 | Unabridged Sports Cliches | comic story | 2 | script: Jacob Lambert; pencils: Paul Coker; inks: Paul Coker | |
| 22 | Buy This Stuff Today! | promo (ad from the publisher) | 1 | pencils: ? (photo); inks: ? (photo); colors: ? (photo); letters: typeset | Alfred E. Neuman; George Bush; Black Spy; White Spy |
| 23 | The Strip Club | comic story | 4 | script: Scott Nickel, Tony Murphy, John Kovaleski, Todd Clark, Christopher Baldwin, Joey Sayers; pencils: Scott Nickel, Tony Murphy, John Kovaleski, Todd Clark, Christopher Baldwin, Joey Sayers; inks: Scott Nickel, Tony Murphy, John Kovaleski, Todd Clark, Christopher Baldwin, Joey Sayers; letters: Scott Nickel, Tony Murphy, John Kovaleski, Todd Clark, Christopher Baldwin, Joey Sayers | The Easter Bunny |
| 25 | Spy Vs. Spy | comic story | 2 | script: Peter Kuper; pencils: Peter Kuper; inks: Peter Kuper | Black Spy; White Spy |
| 26 | President Obama The Promise Vs. The Reality | comic story | 2 | script: Desmond Devlin; pencils: Leonardo Rodriguez, Kevin Pope; inks: Leonardo Rodriguez, Kevin Pope | Barack Obama; Nancy Pelosi; John McCain; Joe Lieberman |
| 28 | A "Snappy Answers To Stupid Questions" Snowboarding Conversation | activity | 1 | script: Al Jaffee; pencils: Al Jaffee; inks: Al Jaffee | |
| 29 | Drawn-Out Dramas | comic story | 0 | script: Sergio Aragonés; pencils: Sergio Aragonés; inks: Sergio Aragonés | |