| 0 | Will Worry for Food | cover | 1 | pencils: Mark Fredrickson; inks: Mark Fredrickson; colors: Mark Fredrickson | Alfred E. Neuman |
| 2 | Departments | table of contents | 1 | script: John Ficarra | Alfred E. Neuman; Black Spy; White Spy; Hugh Hefner; Harry Plodder; Bo; Mr. Spock; Vince |
| 3 | Random Samplings of Reader Mail | letters page | 2.75 | script: John Ficarra, Terry England, Bonnie Thoma, David Cline, Eric McArthur, Dylan Dennis; pencils: David Folkman, John Caldwell, Angelo Torres, N! Satterfield, Big Toe, Oscar Medina; inks: David Folkman, John Caldwell, Angelo Torres, N! Satterfield, Big Toe, Oscar Medina; colors: David Folkman, John Caldwell, N! Satterfield, Big Toe, Oscar Medina, Brian Gray | Sam Viviano; Alfred E. Neuman; Black Spy; White Spy; Gray Spy; Otto; John Caldwell; Jeremy Fisher; Quip; Zero |
| 6 | - | credits, title page | 0.25 | letters: typeset | |
| 7 | The Money You Could Be Saving | comic story | 1 | pencils: ? (photo); inks: ? (photo); colors: ? (photo); letters: typeset | GEICO money stack |
| 8 | An Important Message from Mad's Director of Business & Development | promo (ad from the publisher) | 1 | script: Jeffrey Lozenge | Jeffrey Lozenge |
| 9 | The Mad Quarterly Report May-July 2009 | text article | 1 | pencils: Sam Viviano; inks: Sam Viviano | Jimmy Fallon; Adam Lambert; Kim Jong Il; Brett Michaels; Mahmoud Ahmadinejad; Dick Cheney; Sarah Palin; Keyboard Cat |
| 10 | The Fundalini Pages | comic story | 6 | script: Jeff Kruse, Paul Gilligan, P. C. Vey, Scott Nickel, Duck Edwing, Jacob Lambert; pencils: Rick Tulka, Paul Gilligan, Bob Staake, P. C. Vey, Dave Berg, Evan Dorkin; inks: Rick Tulka, Paul Gilligan, Bob Staake, P. C. Vey, Dave Berg, Evan Dorkin; letters: Paul Gilligan, P. C. Vey, Scott Nickel, Tom Cheney, Gary Hallgren, Ward Sutton | Maximo Goosecap IV; Michelle Obama; Queen Elizabeth II; Angela Merkel; Mahmoud Ahmadinejad; The Terminators; Roger Kaputnick; Kim Kardashian; Sarah Palin; Todd Palin; Hugh Hefner; Suze Orman; GEICO money stack; Paul McCartney; Steve Jobs; Calvin; Calvin's mother; Andrew Zimmern |
| 11 | The Spys Who Came In from the Old! | promo (ad from the publisher) | 1 | pencils: ? (photo); inks: ? (photo); colors: ? (photo); letters: typeset | Black Spy; White Spy |
| 12 | A Brutally Honest Michael Jackson Obit | text story | 1 | pencils: ? (photo); inks: ? (photo); letters: typeset | Michael Jackson |
| 13 | Harry Plodder Is a Hot-Blooded Putz | comic story | 6 | script: Desmond Devlin; pencils: Hermann Mejía; inks: Hermann Mejía | Amy Winehouse; Death Eater; Alpo Hussein Doubldork; Lord Druckermort; Horace Rugburn; Severly Snapped; Malformed Sr.; Mrs. Malformed; Drano Malformed; Runt Queasy; Herwhiny Grungy; Harry Plodder; Tom Riddler |
| 14 | Spy vs. Spy | comic story | 1 | script: Peter Kuper; pencils: Peter Kuper; inks: Peter Kuper | Black Spy; White Spy |
| 15 | Bo Confidential | comic story | 3 | pencils: Tom Richmond; inks: Tom Richmond | Bo; Barack Obama; Michelle Obama; Joe Biden |
| 16 | The New iPhone Apps Are Here! | text story | 2 | letters: typeset | Bobby Jindle; Verizon "Can You Hear Me" guy |
| 17 | William Shatner Twitters While Watching Star Trek | comic story | 2 | script: Frank Santopadre; pencils: AP/Wide World, Piovesempre; inks: AP/Wide World, Piovesempre; colors: AP/Wide World, Piovesempre | William Shatner; Captain James Kirk; Mr. Spock; Lt. Ohura; Mr. Spock's father |
| 18 | Mad's Guide to Making a Recently-Released Gitmo Detainee Feel Welcome in Your Town | comic story | 2 | script: John Caldwell; pencils: John Caldwell; inks: John Caldwell; letters: John Caldwell | |
| 19 | MisMatch.com | comic story | 4 | script: Scott Maiko | |
| 20 | The Mad 2009-2010 Calendar | promo (ad from the publisher) | 1 | pencils: ? (photo); inks: ? (photo); colors: ? (photo); letters: typeset | Alfred E. Neuman |
| 21 | A Mad Look at Star Trek | comic story | 4 | script: Sergio Aragonés; pencils: Sergio Aragonés; inks: Sergio Aragonés; colors: Tom Luth | Capt. James Kirk; Homer Simpson; The Hulk; Superman; Lt. Ohura; Dr. McCoy; Mr. Spock; Mr. Spock's father |
| 22 | Spy vs. Spy | comic story | 1 | script: Peter Kuper; pencils: Peter Kuper; inks: Peter Kuper | Black Spy; White Spy |
| 23 | A TV Commercial We'd Like to See | comic story | 2 | script: Dick DeBartolo; pencils: Tom Bunk; inks: Tom Bunk | Vince |
| 24 | The Hardships Faced by the Super Obese of America's Wild West | comic story | 2 | script: Teresa Burns Parkhurst; pencils: Teresa Burns Parkhurst; inks: Teresa Burns Parkhurst; letters: Teresa Burns Parkhurst | |
| 25 | Sanford and Sin | comic story | 1 | pencils: ? (photo); inks: ? (photo); colors: ? (photo); letters: typeset | Mark Sanford |
| 26 | The Strip Club | comic story | 4 | script: Jason Yungbluth, Todd Clark, Dustin Glick, Keith Knight, John Kovaleski, Dan Long; pencils: Jason Yungbluth, Todd Clark, Dustin Glick, Keith Knight, John Kovaleski, Dan Long; inks: Jason Yungbluth, Todd Clark, Dustin Glick, Keith Knight, John Kovaleski, Dan Long; letters: Jason Yungbluth, Todd Clark, Dustin Glick, Keith Knight, John Kovaleski, Dan Long | |
| 27 | The Mad Vault 1973 | comic story | 3 | script: Frank Jacobs, Don Martin, Dick DeBartolo, Donald K. Epstein, Al Jaffee, Dave Gantz; pencils: Norman Mingo, Paul Coker, Don Martin, Bob Clarke, Al Jaffee, Jack Rickard; inks: Norman Mingo, Paul Coker, Don Martin, Bob Clarke, Al Jaffee, Jack Rickard | Alfred E. Neuman |
| 28 | What the Heck Is the Difference? | activity | 1 | pencils: ?; ? (photo); inks: ?; ? (photo); colors: ?; ? (photo); letters: typeset | The Jonas Brothers [Kevin Jonas; Joe Jonas; Nick Jonas] |
| 29 | What Potential Health Threat Has Been Linked to the Nation's Pig Population? | activity | 1 | script: Al Jaffee; pencils: Al Jaffee; inks: Al Jaffee | |
| 30 | Drawn-Out Dramas | filler | 12 | script: Sergio Aragonés; pencils: Sergio Aragonés; inks: Sergio Aragonés, Sergio Aragonés | |