| 0 | We Get Lost | cover | 1 | pencils: Hermann Mejía; inks: Hermann Mejía; colors: Hermann Mejía | Alfred E. Neuman |
| 1 | Departments | table of contents | 1 | pencils: various; inks: various; colors: various; letters: typeset | |
| 2 | - | letters page | 3 | pencils: various; inks: various; colors: various; letters: typeset | |
| 3 | The Fundalini Pages | comic story | 4 | script: John Caldwell, Duck Edwing, Desmond Devlin, Andrew J. Schwartzberg, Garth Gerhart; pencils: John Caldwell, Duck Edwing, Rick Tulka, Jerry Ordway, Kevin Pope, Charles Akins; inks: John Caldwell, Duck Edwing, Rick Tulka, Jerry Ordway, Kevin Pope, Charles Akins; colors: Garth Gerhart; letters: John Caldwell | |
| 4 | Lots | comic story | 5 | script: Dick DeBartolo; pencils: Tom Richmond; inks: Tom Richmond | Matthew Fox [as Hack]; Evangeline Lilly [as Mate]; Josh Holloway [as Sorry]; Terry O'Quinn [as Rocke]; Jorge Garcia [as Chubby]; Dominic Monaghan [as Sorehead]; Emilie de Raven [as Scare]; Naveen Andrews [as Sad]; Maggie Grace [as Shallow]; Ian Somerhalder [as Boom]; Malcolm David Kelley [as Walt]; |
| 5 | Spy vs Spy | comic story | 2 | script: Peter Kuper; pencils: Peter Kuper; inks: Peter Kuper; colors: Peter Kuper | The Black Spy, The White Spy |
| 6 | 9 Surefire Ways to Improve the NBA's Lousy Image | comic story | 2 | script: Jacob Lambert; pencils: Paul Coker; inks: Paul Coker | |
| 7 | When Tattoo Artists Go Bad | comic story | 3 | script: John Caldwell; pencils: John Caldwell; inks: John Caldwell; letters: John Caldwell | |
| 8 | Monroe and... Paintball | comic story | 4 | script: Anthony Barbieri; pencils: Bill Wray; inks: Bill Wray; letters: Bill Wray | |
| 9 | The 25 Least Powerful People in Sports | comic story | 4 | script: Jeff Kruse; pencils: Kevin Pope; inks: Kevin Pope | |
| 10 | 7 Periods Closer to Death | comic story | 1 | script: Ted Rall; pencils: Ted Rall; inks: Ted Rall; letters: Ted Rall | |
| 11 | ...Donald Trump, You're Fired!!! | comic story | 2 | script: Russ Cooper; pencils: Sam Sisco; inks: Sam Sisco | Alfred E. Neuman |
| 12 | Sergio Aragonès Presents a Mad Look at Paintball | comic story | 4 | script: Sergio Aragonés; pencils: Sergio Aragonés; inks: Sergio Aragonés; colors: Tom Luth; letters: Sergio Aragonés | |
| 13 | Signs We Need in Post 9/11 America | comic story | 2 | script: Jacob Lambert; pencils: Nathan Fox; inks: Nathan Fox; letters: Nathan Fox | |
| 14 | Disparate No-Lives | comic story | 6 | script: David Shayne; pencils: Mort Drucker; inks: Mort Drucker | Brenda Strong [as Scary Alice Young]; Teri Hatcher [as Snoozin]; James Denton [as Mock]; Felicity Huffman [as Dinette]; Eva Longoria [as Crabrielle]; Jesse Metcalfe [as Lawn]; Nicolette Sheridan [as Seedy]; Marcia Cross [as Breeze]; Momma (comic strip character, cameo); Ricardo Antonio Chavira [as C |
| 15 | 13 Things You Never Want to Hear from a Computer Tech Support Guy | comic story | 1 | script: Jeff Kruse; pencils: Peter Bagge; inks: Peter Bagge; colors: Peter Bagge | |
| 16 | What's the Hottest Thing in Music Today? | cartoon | 1 | script: Al Jaffee; pencils: Al Jaffee; inks: Al Jaffee; colors: Al Jaffee | |