| 0 | 8 Big Fat Austin Powers Secrets! | cover | 1 | pencils: C. F. Payne; inks: C. F. Payne | |
| 1 | 8 Top Secret Facts About Austin Powers in Goldmember that Mike Myers Doesn’t Want You to Know | comic story | 2 | script: David Shayne; pencils: Hermann Mejía; inks: Hermann Mejía | |
| 2 | Drastic Cutbacks in the Music Industry | comic story | 3 | script: Desmond Devlin, Scott Lieberman; pencils: Rick Tulka; inks: Rick Tulka; colors: Digital Chameleon | |
| 3 | Star Bores: Epic Load II — Attack of the Clowns | comic story | 5 | script: Dick DeBartolo; pencils: Mort Drucker; inks: Mort Drucker | Ewan McGregor [as Oldie Von Moldie]; Hayden Christiansen [as Mannequin Skystalker]; Natalie Portman [as Senator PetMe AmaDilly]; Samuel L. Jackson [as Lace Windows]; Ian McDiarmid [as Chancellor Palpitation]; Christopher Lee [as Count Cuckoo]; Har Har Blinks (cameo); Yodel; Bar Stool; Leeanna Walsma |
| 4 | Mad’s Modern Animal Crackers | comic story | 1 | script: Mike Snider; pencils: James Warhola; inks: James Warhola | |
| 5 | Monroe and… the Big House | comic story | 4 | script: Anthony Barbieri; pencils: Bill Wray; inks: Bill Wray | |
| 6 | MAD Deconstructs TV Talk Shows | comic story | 2 | script: Desmond Devlin; pencils: Bob Staake; inks: Bob Staake | |
| 7 | The U.S. Constitution of Catholic Bishops’ Official Edict on Pedophile Priests | comic story | 2 | script: Desmond Devlin; pencils: Tom Nick Cocotos; inks: Tom Nick Cocotos | |
| 8 | Eminem: The Senior Citizen Years | comic story | 3 | script: John Caldwell; pencils: John Caldwell; inks: John Caldwell | |
| 9 | The Lighter Side of... | comic story | 4 | script: Dave Berg; pencils: Dave Berg; inks: Dave Berg; colors: Digital Chameleon | Roger Kaputnik |
| 10 | - | comic story | 2 | script: Peter Kuper; pencils: Peter Kuper; inks: Peter Kuper | Black Spy; White Spy |
| 11 | A Mad Look at Star Wars: Attack of the Clones | comic story | 4 | script: Sergio Aragonés; pencils: Sergio Aragonés; inks: Sergio Aragonés | |
| 12 | Conclusive Evidence of the Ever-Widening Gap Between Baseball’s Small & Large Market Teams | comic story | 2 | script: Scott Lieberman; pencils: Tom Richmond; inks: Tom Richmond | |
| 13 | Confidential Documents You Won’t Find on thesmokinggun.com | comic story | 4 | script: Scott Sonneborn; pencils: Drew Friedman; inks: Drew Friedman | |
| 14 | How to Spice Up Your Video Will | comic story | 2 | script: Jeff Kruse; pencils: Tom Bunk; inks: Tom Bunk | Gilbert Gottfried (cameo) |
| 15 | Mad’s Thumbs Up/Thumbs Down Review Why You Should or Shouldn’t See Austin Powers in Goldmember | comic story | 2 | script: Barry Liebmann; pencils: Hermann Mejía; inks: Hermann Mejía | |
| 16 | What Goofy Character is America’s Youth Learning the Most From? | illustration | 1 | script: Al Jaffee; pencils: Al Jaffee; inks: Al Jaffee | |