| 0 | In This Issue We Block Out the New Kids! | cover | 1 | pencils: Richard Williams; inks: Richard Williams | |
| 1 | Twin Peeks: Introducing Issue #1; Son of a Glitch! | promo (ad from the publisher) | 1 | letters: typeset | |
| 2 | - | table of contents | 1 | letters: typeset | |
| 3 | - | letters page | 0.7 | letters: typeset | |
| 4 | - | statement of ownership | 0.3 | script: William M. Gaines | |
| 5 | Gauche | comic story | 5 | script: Stan Hart; pencils: Angelo Torres; inks: Angelo Torres | Patrick Swayze [as Sham]; Demi Moore; Whoopi Goldberg; Tony Goldwyn [as Carl] |
| 6 | The Surprising Seafaring Scenario | comic story | 1 | script: Duck Edwing; pencils: Duck Edwing; inks: Duck Edwing | |
| 7 | Just What Is an Eternal Optimist??? | comic story | 2 | script: J. Prete; pencils: Gerry Gersten; inks: Gerry Gersten | |
| 8 | Basic Underlying Premises of Various Products, Trends, and Fashions | comic story | 3 | script: Mike Snider; pencils: John Caldwell; inks: John Caldwell | |
| 9 | New Kids Albums of the 21st Century | comic story | 2 | script: Joe Raiola, Charlie Kadau; pencils: Greg Theakston; inks: Greg Theakston | |
| 10 | Spy vs. Spy | comic story | 1 | script: Don Edwing; pencils: Bob Clarke; inks: Bob Clarke | The Black Spy; the White Spy |
| 11 | The Lighter Side of... | comic story | 5 | script: Dave Berg; pencils: Dave Berg; inks: Dave Berg | |
| 12 | The Receptionist’s Revolting Resolution | comic story | 1 | script: Duck Edwing; pencils: Duck Edwing | Ms. Hamilton; Dr. Max Schouweiler |
| 13 | The Hymn of the Battered Republic | text story | 2 | script: Frank Jacobs; pencils: George Woodbridge; inks: George Woodbridge | |
| 14 | Little-Known (and Rarely Called) Sports Infractions | comic story | 2 | script: Mike Snider; pencils: Jack Davis; inks: Jack Davis | |
| 15 | Warning Labels of the Future Designed to Head Off Potential Lawsuits | comic story | 2 | script: Dick DeBartolo; pencils: Bob Clarke; inks: Bob Clarke | |
| 16 | The New Benchmarks, Records and Barriers that Mankind Is Rapidly Approaching Part I | comic story | 2 | script: Mike Snider; pencils: Sergio Aragonés; inks: Sergio Aragonés | |
| 17 | The Bloodcurdling Blue-Cross Brouhaha | comic story | 1 | script: Duck Edwing; pencils: Don Edwing; inks: Don Edwing | |
| 18 | The Real Demographics of Various TV Audiences Volume II | comic story | 3 | script: Mike Snider; pencils: Bob Clarke; inks: Bob Clarke | |
| 19 | A Knack for Phobias | comic story | 5 | script: Dick DeBartolo; pencils: Paul Coker; inks: Paul Coker | Henry Jones [as Dr. Midwife]; Mary Carver [as Mrs. Hollow] |
| 20 | New Lifestyle Magazines for Huge Untapped Audiences | comic story | 3 | script: Mike Snider; pencils: John Pound; inks: John Pound | |
| 21 | A Mad Guide on How to Look Upscale Without the Expense | comic story | 2 | script: Paul Peter Porges; pencils: Paul Peter Porges; inks: Paul Peter Porges | |
| 22 | A Mad Peek Behind the Scenes… The TV News Business | comic story | 2 | script: Lou Silverstone; pencils: Mort Drucker; inks: Mort Drucker | |
| 23 | Mad Magazine Reader’s Competition | text story | 1 | script: Joe Raiola, Charlie Kadau | |
| 24 | What Ominous Death-Dealing Device Continues to Threaten Future Generations? | activity | 1 | script: Al Jaffee; pencils: Al Jaffee; inks: Al Jaffee | |