| 0 | 20 Dumbest People, Events & Things of 2003 | cover | 1 | pencils: Mark Fredrickson; inks: Mark Fredrickson; colors: Mark Fredrickson | Alfred E. Neuman |
| 1 | Departments | table of contents | 1 | pencils: various; inks: various; colors: various; letters: typeset | |
| 2 | - | letters page | 3 | pencils: various; inks: various; colors: various; letters: typeset | |
| 3 | The Blue Shield | comic story | 5 | script: Charlie Kadau; pencils: Angelo Torres; inks: Angelo Torres; colors: Wildstorm | Michael Chiklis [as Sick Wacky]; Walton Goggins [as Shame Tendril]; Kenny Johnson [as Lemonfed]; David Rees Snell [as Goreocki; CCH Pounder [as Laundrette Whims]; Jay Karnes [as Botch Wagonblast]; Benito Martinez [as Captain Askevader]; Reed Diamond [as Tavern Fairest]; Michael Jace [as Julienne Slo |
| 4 | When Department Store Santas Go Bad | comic story | 3 | script: John Caldwell; pencils: John Caldwell; inks: John Caldwell | |
| 5 | Mad's Epic Outtakes from the Lord of the Rings the Return of the King | photo story | 3 | script: Greg Leitman | |
| 6 | The 20 Dumbest People, Events and Things of 2003 | comic story | 22 | script: Andrew J. Schwartzberg, Frank Santopadre, Russ Cooper, Charlie Kadau, David Shayne, Don Vaughn; pencils: Tom Bunk, Irving Schild, Timothy Shamey, Michael Koelsch, Drew Friedman, Hermann Mejía; inks: Tom Bunk, Irving Schild, Timothy Shamey, Michael Koelsch, Drew Friedman, Hermann Mejía; colors: Irving Schild, Timothy Shamey, Michael Koelsch, Tom Nick Cocotos, James Warhola, Al Jaffee | |
| 7 | Unbend-a-Dent! | text story | 1 | script: Dick DeBartolo | |
| 8 | Monroe and... the Presidency | comic story | 4 | script: Anthony Barbieri; pencils: Bill Wray; inks: Bill Wray; letters: Bill Wray | |
| 9 | A Mad Look at the Holidays | comic story | 3 | script: Sergio Aragonés; pencils: Sergio Aragonés; inks: Sergio Aragonés | |
| 10 | Mad Counts Down Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve | text story | 1 | script: Butch D'Ambrosio; pencils: Drew Friedman; inks: Drew Friedman | |