| 0 | We Piss Off The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers | cover | 1 | pencils: Dale Stephanos; inks: Dale Stephanos | Alfred E. Neuman [as Gollum]; Elijah Wood [as Frodo Baggins]; Sean Astin [as Samwise Gamgee] |
| 1 | Bored of the Rings: The Two+ Hours | comic story | 5 | script: Desmond Devlin; pencils: Hermann Mejía; inks: Hermann Mejía | Elijah Wood [as Dodo Gaggings]; Ian McKellen [as Gandoof]; Peter Jackson (cameo); Viggo Mortenson [as Peppercorn]; Sean Astin [as Spam Gangrene]; Billy Boyd [as Pimple]; Dominic Monaghan [as Baggybuns]; Liv Tyler [as Argon]; Sean Bean [as Borderline]; Orlando Bloom [as Legolamb]; Christopher Lee [as |
| 2 | The Employing Guise | comic story | 3 | script: Jeff Kruse; pencils: Ray Alma, Irving Schild, Timothy Shamey; inks: Ray Alma, Irving Schild, Timothy Shamey | |
| 3 | Mad Sizes Up the 2003 Oscars: Best Actor | comic story | 2 | script: Greg Leitman, Barry Liebmann, David Shayne, Mike Snider; pencils: Harry North, Drew Friedman; inks: Harry North, Drew Friedman | |
| 4 | Monroe and… Discrimination | comic story | 4 | script: Anthony Barbieri; pencils: Bill Wray; inks: Bill Wray | |
| 5 | - | comic story | 2 | script: Peter Kuper; pencils: Peter Kuper; inks: Peter Kuper | |
| 6 | Mad Sizes Up the 2003 Oscars: Best Actress | comic story | 2 | script: Greg Leitman, Barry Liebmann, David Shayne, Mike Snider; pencils: Rick Tulka, Harry North; inks: Rick Tulka, Harry North; colors: Jack Syracuse | |
| 7 | A Mad Look at Video Gamers | comic story | 4 | script: Sergio Aragonés; pencils: Sergio Aragonés; inks: Sergio Aragonés | |
| 8 | Disposable Camera Wedding Photos That Didn’t Make the Album | comic story | 3 | script: Butch D'Ambrosio; pencils: Timothy Shamey; inks: Timothy Shamey | |
| 9 | Slo-Man’s Advanced Home Security System | text story | 1 | script: Dick DeBartolo | |
| 10 | Other Medical “Surveys” the Public Never Heard About | comic story | 2 | script: Andrew J. Schwartzberg; pencils: Tom Bunk; inks: Tom Bunk | |
| 11 | Mad’s Not So Daring Outtakes from Daredevil | photo story | 2 | letters: typeset | |
| 12 | Your Team May Not Be Final Four Material if… | comic story | 3 | script: John Caldwell; pencils: John Caldwell; inks: John Caldwell | |
| 13 | MTV Making the Video: Osama bin Laden | comic story | 4 | script: Dave Croatto; pencils: Bill Wray; inks: Bill Wray | Osama bin Laden; Thaqib Qatadah; Ragheb Saariyah; Nelly (cameo); Shihab Uqbah; Mullah Omar; Fallah Monshad |
| 14 | Mad Sizes Up the 2003 Oscars: Best Picture | comic story | 2 | script: Greg Leitman, Barry Liebmann, David Shayne, Mike Snider; pencils: Harry North, Tom Richmond; inks: Harry North, Tom Richmond | |
| 15 | Who is Responsible for a Major Increase in Crack on Our Streets? | illustration | 1 | script: Al Jaffee; pencils: Al Jaffee; inks: Al Jaffee | |